In this day and age, when people are living in safer environments, with longer life expectancy, and least amount of wars ever in history of the world... we often amplify in our minds the risk we are really facing. So a simple e-mail, a small mistake or an ill tempered colleague can start a "fight or flight" response in us - that comes with rising heart rate, difficulty thinking straight, waking up tensed etc.
We get uncomfortable with these situations, and decide to play it safe instead.
How do we play safe? One way of defense is by not authoring any work of our own. Everything I do, I end up defend by saying - I am only doing it because I have been told to do so (be it by the society, office or family). This takes away my headache about the repercussions. Ah, peace!
Another way is by being lazy, so any failure I face, I can say, well I did not even try properly. I am sure I will do an amazing job, whenever I really want to.
But these are just excuses that trap us into a smaller existence. Trap us into a life less-lived.
What you can do instead is to remember that very few of the repercussions we face will ever be dangerous in reality. Most of us are not surgeons with responsibility over life and death. So there is no point in being so stressed out over a missed deadline or a failed project.
Notice carefully, the amplified stress for simple problems, and notice the silliness of it. Noticing it will help to reduce the stress too, over time.
Once you can reduce the stress, you can start authoring your own actions. Putting yourself out there 100%, and find out how good (or awful) you really can become. Face a few real failures of your own, not just the failures from listening to others. Welcome to the life well-lived.
Only then can you say (in the words of William Ernest Henley)
"I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul."
Radi
26 March 2019
Dhaka
Radi
26 March 2019
Dhaka
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| photo by author: (Hanuman Dancing with Flames at Kecak in Uluwatu) |