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| Memory of Self |
There are moments in life when it feels like you are standing on the sidelines, watching yourself, almost like a stranger. You become a distant memory of who you once were. Maybe life has thrown you down one too many times, offering no hand to help you back up. Your sense of self feels fragile—like a shattered vase, barely held together by fragments of memory, clinging on like tattered masking tape.
In such times of outright despair, it is important to hold onto two seemingly opposing truths. First, this isn’t the worst time of your life—it’s just the worst "so far". That means it could get worse, but it also means you’ve already survived every difficult moment until now. Second truth to hold on is, as long as you are alive, things can improve. No matter how distant or improbable it seems, being here gives you the chance to experience better days. And that chance is enough.
Reconciling these two truths isn’t easy, but it can lead to a mindset I’ve found helpful. I call it the "Okay and Go" (O&G) approach. "Okay" is about acceptance—acknowledging that while things are tough, they could have been worse. This isn’t about ignoring pain but about grounding yourself in the present and finding a bit of wiggle room. "Go", on the other hand, is about momentum. It is about taking small, deliberate steps forward, even when the path feels unclear or overwhelming. "Go" isn’t about speed; it’s about moving, no matter how small the steps. Together, "Okay" and "Go" allows for resilience and change. Even when it feels out of reach.
But let’s be clear. The O&G approach isn’t simple. It’s not a silver bullet or a shortcut. There will be days when it feels too much, when optimism seems out of your grasp. Say it's okay. Sit for a bit. Then take that tiny step, whenever you can. They all add up, and with time, progress becomes change.
Imagine you’re stuck in a dark tunnel. "Okay" is about sitting with the reality of where you are — without letting it paralyse you. "Go" is about searching for the faintest light, and walking toward it. One step at a time. Each step giving you a little more to polish your next one.
The "Okay and Go" mindset doesn’t promise instant change or an easy path. What it does promise is the chance to start again, even from the hardest places. As long as you’re here, the possibility exists. So, in your most broken moments, find the balance between "Okay" and "Go". Pause long enough to acknowledge where you are, just enough for the next bit of motion. The future you will thank you for it.
Radi
15 December 2024
Dhaka